I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
