I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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