Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
