can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
