im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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