His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
