after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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