My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
