well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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