My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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