It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
