make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
