Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
