hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this boner is exhausting
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
