I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
