The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
