I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
