It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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