everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
