i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize