He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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