We won't sleep together?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
