just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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