okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
