Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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