i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize