After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
