You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
