You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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