Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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