sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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