just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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