Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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