We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
