dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
