eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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