Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
