everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
