You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
