So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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