I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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