i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Enjoy the penises
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
