I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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