Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
