Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
