First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize