yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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