ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
