I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
