You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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