fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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