Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
