My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
