I'm laying in your front yard are you home
No subtext here. People are naked.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
