4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
