I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
