I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
