exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize