Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
