You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
