i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sponge bath it is.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
