ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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