No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
