He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
