Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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