Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
