I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
