Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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