And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm at about main and main street
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
