Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize